Wearing and checking out her new kicks! She likes them so much she danced in them, adorbs
is by the person who went through it all. You never saw it coming, I didn’t either. The Great out weighed all the bad, and here we are now. There was never any problems until now. Everything that was said was stated for it’s own purpose. To defend you and your honor, to show her insecurities, and to make me look like a dumb ass to even really believe anything you’ve ever said to me was true.
Guess you know now what its like to be in the douchbag roll, something you said that you could never be. Well here it is right in front of your face and towards someone who did nothing but nice things for you and was there for you when needbe.
I don’t regret anything just so you know, just like I said I would never hate you. You’re regret is enough for the both of us, and your Gfs hatred towards me is enough to spread around the world. I might have been the biggest best mistake/regret in the world to you, but at least you thought about me, and thought it over several times to make that decision. I’m glad I could be apart of that.
You are an Honest person, I never doubted you for one second, I never not trusted you, I believed everything you said when stated. I just wanted to let you know that even with all this, i still appreciate you for everything you have done for me, vulnerability at its finest and you were there to catch me. this is why i say i cant hate you or regret you. the little things that’s what matters to me.
my advice to you:
Be Happy, be truthful, be loyal All the things i was when you were around
whatever it is….
its my fault, I didn’t tell you anything. It’s my fault that I can’t talk to you. I strongly believe that we don’t really have that connection. I really don’t know what it is, I really don’t and I can’t help this feeling. There is more irritation then there is peace. Might be the different life styles we have. My morals and standards aren’t right there with you. We both live in a the same world but our lives are separate, running parallel to each other it only comes together for certain occasions but that’s it. Ever wonder why when we’re in a room we’re on opposite ends. Ever wonder why we talk to the same people but on different notes and different times. There are commonalities, but that’s about it.
Growing and being stronger isn’t about relying on anyone but yourself. Drop the bad habit, quit complaining and just do. If nothing right is going your way do one better and change it for the better. Make it a point to be that strong independent person that you want to be/that you make yourself out to be. You can’t be happy with someone else if you aren’t happy with yourself.
UGHHHH…… I NEEDED TO VENT SOMETHING OUT
I came across a note I wrote back in 2010.
as I read it, all of the emotions of that moment came rushing back to me. “ I love you till my heart stops beating and even after!” sounds like a quote from a movie. I was in love and devastated that it was over. As i continued on reading, i felt my blood start to boil. I was defiantly hurt.
When I got to the end I sighed a great sigh. Only because it was a sigh of relief. A REASSURING MOMENT that I am HAPPY! IM ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY! I was asked the other day by someone who I hold close to my heart “If you could, would you have changed anything?” My instant response was “NO, I’m better off, and better then I was before.”
Everything that I was feeling, everything that I had gone through. The love, the Hurt, the Pain, losing friends and gaining friends, seeing who had my back and the ones who didn’t. It was all there, STEPS of PROGRESSION. It was never easy, It really wasn’t, I had amazing days and I had really bad days, it all came in waves. You know how if you were in a laundromat and you’re watching the cloths spin around in the giant washing machine, all your cloths spinning around… the calm moments of the rinse cycle, and the vigorous spinning nearing the end of the cycle, that is exactly how my days were.
I know you’re probably wondering, why i’m talking about this past moment? Its to bring up the fact that, In due time, our misfoutunes bring to life Realization’s and MY REALIZATION is exactly what I stated earlier “IM HAPPY!” Things might not be perfect, but they can be Amazing! You just have to get in the right mindset. Realize you can’t please everyone, Know that whatever it is that your doing… you’re doing it for yourself and no one else! Be Honest with your feelings, even if you feel like you might be hurting someone, Its better to be Honest then to get caught up in a lie.
we’re human, we make things a lot harder on ourselves when in reality its simple.
Someimes, when I’m driving with a full car, and everyone’s sleeping. Im coasting a long and reflecting on everything, from the past 5 mins to the past year. I can honestly say that I’m doing really Amazing right now. No complaints… Besides the heat or my aching back. Other then that it’s good.
I do everything in my power to not let the past or present “bad” events get to me. Why? You ask… Well it takes 10-times more energy to be angry, sad, or upset. You use more muscles on your face to frown, and we all know them forehead lines ain’t cute.
It helps a lot to just move forward no matter how much things hurt. Yes it takes time, “time heals all wounds.” in order to move froward you need to take yourself out of that funk. Think positive, be positive, surround yourself with positive people. If its honestly something you dont want to do don’t do it, you might bring everyone else around you down.
Think of the things that has happened as a big lesson that you needed to learn, Wether it be once or three- times- over… They’re lessons!
I’m basking in my happy thoughts!
I admit I’m not perfect, and I will have bad days, but lately those bad days havent dragged on for days on end. Only for that moment.
Okay that’s all for now :-)
Love peas and chicken grease